Let’s play a game. Two truths and a lie: I once almost drowned pretending I knew how to swim to impress people, I’m annoyed by overly pretentious liberal people, and I loss weight while at the same time my boyfriend gained weight.
I’m sure you’ve guessed it. The latter is the lie. Seeing as if I actually did lose twenty pounds – me being the proud weight loss show off that I am – would’ve attached a before and after picture along with this blog post. Sorry not sorry.
People would say you gain weight when you get into a relationship. I’m guessing due to contentedness. I thought with my know-it-all twenty six-year old brain “That’ll never be me!” Six months later I’m doing fad diets and intermittent fasting to post that perfect “looked what you missed out on” picture on Facebook for all my ex-flings to drool over. As my black constituents would say, “Bitch you thought!”
However, that was the problem. I wasn’t thinking. I was in a “honeymoon” phase in my relationship. We all know what that means: takeout paired with Amazon Prime and chill. Recipe for weight gain. Never having been in a relationship before one can imagine how I dived into that lifestyle head first. Because of that my priorities of getting in shape and reaching my goal weight, which has been on my to-do list for about ten years now, shifted it’s focus to my relationship. Don’t get me wrong I don’t regret enjoying those moments, but I did lose balance in my life so bad I was somewhere between a drunk college student during freshmen year and a one-year old taking its first steps and for someone who randomly drools, a lot, those comparisons are most accurate.
I’d do fad diets, fasting, crazy workouts, and lose weight all to gain it right back a few weeks later due to stress induced over-eating. The misconception that losing the weight meant the struggle was over (as my boyfriend, Denny would say) took me three steps back leaving me at square one. No one wants to be at square one. Square one is the equivalent to checking your bank account the next business day after a weekend of impulse buys. I felt defeated, which is okay, because life is a bitch and with some wins comes some defeat. The catch is to not stay defeated! Easier said than done especially when you have HBO and frozen pizza in the fridge calling your name. Nonetheless, it can be done.
Now I’m back in the game. I’m back to logging food in My Fitness Pal app, following those annoying gym enthusiasts on Instagram and working out at the gym while avoiding social interactions (introverts rule). Most importantly, I’ve eaten all the unhealthy food in my fridge during a night of regrets and self-loathing. Like the dentist, lifestyle changes can be tough, scary and annoying but necessary.
If you take nothing else away from this post I hope you learn not to pretend you can swim to impress people.
Peace and pizza because pizza is love 🙂