Time is Traveling, So Should You

Though the title of this blog may lead you to think otherwise, let me start off by saying I’m not one of those travel bloggers whose traveled to sixty countries in the last two years on a journey to self-discovery (for those of you reading who have, I love and hate you).

Instead, I’ve traveled to one country, over-drafted in my bank account, got into a relationship, got out of a relationship, fucked up, did a couple of fad diets and stuffed my face with lots of carbs and wine on my self-discovery journey.

Now that I’m single, somewhat back on my feet and drained from the consequences of that journey, I want to travel the world!

There’s nothing more revitalizing than immersing one’s self in another culture: living on the beautiful countryside of Italy for a few months while teaching English, going deep sea diving in Australia, visiting an elephant sanctuary in Thailand, and basking in the sun on the alluring coastline of Greece. Anyone else feeling me on this?

“I don’t have the money,” you say. Or at least that’s probably what every middle-class, non-sponsored Instagramer is thinking. There’s always the issue with not having enough of our friend Benjamin Franklin floating around in our savings. Though a legitimate reason to put the pause on traveling, it’s not legitimate enough if you’re spending a lot of your hard-earned dollars on an abundant amount of detox teas and loafers. Save your money for the experiences that are evergreen. Invest it.  If you love to travel and want to, but keep coming up with same excuses find ways to make traveling happen.

I get there are some traveling traditions that some of us are accustomed to such as  traveling the world after pumping in a few decades of labor into the economy routine. Back then, our parents and grandparents had more of a “work now, play later” motto. Though more and more people are shattering these outdated traditions, some of us have crippled ourselves with these ancient practices and push off exploring the world outside of our everyday parameters.  Now I know those beautiful coastlines and jaw dropping mountainous regions aren’t going anywhere anytime soon–though some day due to my favorite bitch called life we are–, now is the time to travel!

Why now you ask? I say, why not now? The world, though still very reactionary in some areas, is becoming more progressive in it’s evolution by embracing individuality and idiosyncrasies of all people and their cultures that make it up. Also, who doesn’t want to escape from their day to day routine for a new adventure far, far away from their day to day routine (rhetorical question, of course you do)?

Now, I’m no expert on this topic. I’m simply a young, desperate, but happy woman trapped in corporate America’s safety net of a decent salary, great benefits and a desire to travel to Mother Earth’s most precious corners because contrary to what The Rolling Stones said, time isn’t on our side. So, go! Travel! Eat beignets in a cute cafe near the French Rivieria. Bury your problems in the sand on the beautiful beaches in Greece.

Because time is traveling and so should you.

Advertisements

You Lose, You Gain

Let’s play a game. Two truths and a lie: I once almost drowned pretending I knew how to swim to impress people, I loathe small talk, and I loss weight while at the same time my boyfriend gained weight.

I’m sure you’ve guessed it. The latter is the lie. Seeing as if I actually did lose twenty pounds – me being the proud weight loss show off that I am – would’ve attached a before and after picture along with this blog post. Sorry not sorry.

People would  say you gain weight when you get into a relationship. I’m guessing due to contentedness. I thought with my know-it-all twenty six-year old brain “That’ll never be me!” Six months later I’m doing fad diets and intermittent fasting to post that perfect “looked what you missed out on” picture on Facebook for all my ex-flings to drool over. As my black constituents would say, “Bitch you thought!”

However, that was the problem. I wasn’t thinking. I was in a “honeymoon” phase in my relationship. We all know what that means: takeout paired with Amazon Prime and chill. Recipe for weight gain. Never having been in a relationship before one can imagine how I  dived into that lifestyle head first. Because of that my priorities of getting in shape and reaching my goal weight, which has been on my to-do list for about ten years now, shifted it’s focus to my relationship. Don’t get me wrong I don’t regret enjoying those moments, but I did lose balance in my life so bad I was somewhere between a drunk college student during freshmen year and a one-year old taking its first steps and for someone who randomly drools, a lot, those comparisons are most accurate.

I’d do fad diets, fasting,  crazy workouts,  and lose weight all to gain it right back a few weeks later due to stress induced over-eating. The misconception that losing the weight meant the struggle was over (as my boyfriend, Denny would say) took me three steps back leaving me at square one. No one wants to be at square one. Square one is the equivalent to checking your bank account the next business day after a weekend of impulse buys. I felt defeated, which is okay, because life is a bitch and with some wins comes some defeat. The catch is to not stay defeated! Easier said than done especially when you have HBO and frozen pizza in the fridge calling your name. Nonetheless, it can be done.

Now I’m back in the game. I’m back to logging food in My Fitness Pal app, following those annoying gym enthusiasts on Instagram and working out at the gym while avoiding social interactions (introverts rule). Most importantly, I’ve eaten all the unhealthy food in my fridge during a night of regrets and self-loathing. Like the dentist, lifestyle changes can be tough, scary and annoying but necessary.

If you take nothing else away from this post I hope you learn not to pretend you can swim to impress people.

Peace and pizza because pizza is love 🙂

– the coffee shop-

– the coffee shop-

An older, elegant woman walks into a half-empty, quaint coffee shop. She goes to buy a brownie, but a handsome young gentleman catches her eye. She walks over to him as he sits sipping his steaming, hot coffee. She takes a seat.

“Excuse me, mam, that’s my lap,” he says.

She looks at him smiling devilishly. “Mam? Well aren’t you polite,” she replies.

She gulps his coffee unbothered by the hotness.

“How did you do that?” he asks bewildered.

“What’s a guy like you doing in a place like this,” she asks.

“I wanted coffee so…” he answered.

“I love a man who knows what he wants,” she professed.

She rubs her fingers through his hair and fiddles with one of the buttons on his shirt. He sits frozen.

“I’m sorry, but who are…,” he says. “Shhh,” she replies.

She places her finger over his lips. He gives an unpleasant look.

“Your finger smells weird,” he said.

She’s smiles slightly embarrassed. She unbuttons one of his top buttons seductively.

“Uh-oh,” she says teasingly. “I think we both want the same thing.”

“What is it that I want?” he responds with a confused voice.

She whispers in his ear, “You see that brownie? With nuts? ”

“I have a nut allergy,” he responds.

She stares at him silently for a moment; then, casually walks over to the counter and purchases the brownie. She then returns back to the table with young man this time sitting across from him. She takes a bite of the brownie.

“I’m not good at these kind of things,” she confesses.

“Nice to meet you I’m Lisa,” she says with a nervous smile. “Nice weather we’re having.”

 

 

“Nice Weather We’re Having” is a quirky, short dialogue series with a play on conversation starters. Enjoy!

Anonymous Adventures at Williams St. – Welcome

Many of you maybe wondering, what is Williams Street? Well, if you’re not, then pretend you are and don’t spoil it for the others.

When I tell people I work for Adult Swim, the first response I get is, “It must be fun to work there.” Well, I have news for you, it is fun. Then, that usually follows with, “Have you met anyone famous yet?” Yes, I get to work with the main cast of our streaming show Fishcenter everyday. However, what people fail to realize is that Adult Swim is just like any other office. Of course there are some highlights, such as having the inside scoop on some of the most popular shows produced there like Rick and Morty and Robot Chicken and being able to immerse oneself in their absurdly creative culture that is unparalleled. It’s the simple pleasures of William Street that deserve the most attention.

Just like any office there is the insane abundance of chocolate, the often times overdone pun-filled mass emails, the friendly, yet overzealous security, the random appearances of fruit throughout the building, the mass constipation of employees and let’s not forget the invisible lost and found. Okay, maybe that doesn’t exist in every workplace, but that’s what makes Williams Street special! Every day is an opportunity for discovery of spontaneity in the office. It’s a chance to discover more random bananas by the Keurig machine, it’s a day to not hit the reply-all button to the chain of email puns, and it’s a chance to discover what new chocolates they’ve put in the candy jar that day. Will it be the new Hershey’s Cookie Crunch or the Reese’s Pieces Big Cup?

Follow me as we journey through the sweet intricacies of Adult Swim on Williams Street weekly. Who am I you may ask? Let’s hold on to that mystery, shall we. Also, it would ruin the validity of the blog’s title, which I worked really hard on coming up with.

As the great Morty once brilliantly stated, “Nobody exists on purpose. Nobody belongs anywhere. We’re all going to die. Come watch TV.”